


it's a darker purple than you're used to, i know

by TheLillie



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Coach Steven, F/F, Fluff, Inspired by Fanart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 01:17:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17992061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLillie/pseuds/TheLillie
Summary: Amethyst was probably the only Gem in the whole universe who had never been touched, never been tainted by the tyranny of Homeworld--except Steven, if he counted. But now she’d seen Blue Diamond’s face, heard her voice, her words, even if it was just an illusion.And it was all Garnet's fault.





	it's a darker purple than you're used to, i know

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by [ this ](https://lapislazulillie.tumblr.com/post/165441677829/whencartoonsruletheworld-an-imbalance-can-cause)

_ you don't have to pretend you're not too young for this _

* * *

 

Garnet sat on the couch below Steven’s room and didn’t move. She wasn’t as sore now as she had been a few hours ago--she didn’t have to be so still--but it’d still be uncomfortable to leave this spot. Besides, Amethyst and Pearl would be back from their mission soon, and she’d prefer to be right here when they did.

_ Bwinnng. _

“We’re ba-ack!”

Lo and behold.

Garnet held a finger to her lips with a gentle  _ shhh.  _ “Steven’s asleep.”

“Oh, right,” Pearl whispered, hands lifting to cover her mouth. “Sorry.”

“Sorry for what? The kid’d sleep through a stampede,” Amethyst said at her natural volume.

“But not through any more shouting,” Garnet replied.

“Well, if he wakes up, Pearl can just tell him about our mission and he’ll start snoozin’ again.”

“It wasn’t that boring.” Pearl rolled her eyes and crossed the room to sit beside Garnet. “ _ Some _ body just elected to not pay attention while the interesting parts were happening.”

“Love you too, Pearlie-pearl,” Amethyst drawled, flopping onto the couch on Garnet’s other side.

Pearl almost opened her mouth, but decided to let the comment slide. Her expression softened as she turned her attention to Garnet, brushing her arm with her fingertips. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

Tentative, Pearl touched Garnet’s arm a little more firmly; when Garnet didn’t wince or pull away, Pearl curled both her willowy arms around her and leaned into her shoulder with a long exhale.

“I was so scared I was going to lose you two,” she murmured. “I can’t imagine not having you with me forever--especially if it was because you were staying as that awful brute…”

Garnet felt Amethyst tense. Pearl, apparently, didn’t.

“I guess all I can say is that I’m glad you’re back,” Pearl finished, nestling a little closer into Garnet’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” said Amethyst.

Garnet looked down at Amethyst, curled up with her back to Garnet’s thigh. Physically, they were close, but could be a little closer; in all other senses, though, Garnet feared she was growing further and further away.

“Pearl,” Garnet said.

Pearl lifted her head. “Yes?”

“A moment alone, please.”

“...O-of course.”

She sat up and untangled her arms from Garnet’s. “I’ll just...be in my room if you need me.”

The temple door opened and closed. Garnet turned her attention back to Amethyst, who still hadn’t moved.

“You seem to be feeling better, too,” she said.

Amethyst shrugged. “I guess. The headache’s mostly gone. Still tired, though.”

“I trust you apologized to Pearl.”

“Yeah. She said it’s okay.”

Garnet frowned. 

“Something’s not okay.”

There was a moment of still hesitation. Then Amethyst shifted, sitting up and turning to almost face Garnet. She looked up at her.

“That was Blue Diamond, wasn’t it?” Amethyst said quietly. “That we saw.”

Ah. So this was the problem.

Garnet dipped her head in a single solemn nod.

“You guys always talked about how you see stuff that’s not real when your fusion gets messed up, but it’s never actually happened to me before.” Amethyst hunched her shoulders. “It’s scary.”

“She’s scarier in real life.”

“Hopefully I’ll only ever have to take your word for it.”

“You’re never going to meet her and she’s never going to meet you,” Garnet declared, folding her arms. “That’s for certain.”

Amethyst frowned a little. “You don’t have to shelter me so much, y’know. I’m a Gem, too.”

“The less impact the Diamonds have on Earth, the better. You’re an earthling, too.”

“Whatever.”

“I mean it,” Garnet said. “It wasn’t fair to you for Sugilite to see that.”

“It’s fine.”

She dropped a hand to Amethyst’s head, lightly trailing her fingers over her scalp and through her hair. “You don’t have to put on a brave face for me right now. I know seeing Blue Diamond bothered you.”

“Yeah, well, Pearl on a daily basis bothers me more.”

Garnet smirked. “Pearl loves you,” she said. “It’s hard for her to show it, but you know she does.”

“Yeah, right,” Amethyst murmured. 

“You know I love you, too.”

“Yeah. I know.” Amethyst yawned and leaned sideways, landing with her head in Garnet’s lap. “If you keep being boring I’m gonna fall asleep on you.”

In response, Garnet gently laid her arm across Amethyst, hand to chest--gem to gem--and closed her own eyes. “Go on, then.”

“Psh.” 

She fell silent. After a moment, Garnet cracked open one eye to find her already fast asleep, breath and eyelids heavy. A corner of Garnet’s mouth twitched upward, almost a smile, but not quite.

Too soon, the almost-smile faded, like a fluttering match burning out. 

It really wasn’t fair.

Amethyst was probably the only Gem in the whole universe who had never been touched, never been tainted by the tyranny of Homeworld--except Steven, if he counted. But now she’d seen Blue Diamond’s face, heard her voice, her  _ words _ , even if it was just an illusion.

It wasn’t Pearl’s fault. Even if her words had seemed to echo Blue Diamond’s, Pearl had been entirely right in what she said to Sugilite. And even if she hadn’t been, she couldn’t help it sometimes--she’d spent so many millennia under Homeworld’s thumb, she couldn’t be faulted for the millennia it would take to unlearn everything it taught her.

It was Garnet’s fault the words got to her so badly, it was Garnet’s fault Sugilite fought so angrily, it was Garnet’s fault Blue Diamond reappeared. Amethyst didn’t deserve any of it.

And even worse...Amethyst wasn’t just the purest Gem in the cosmos, she was a Gem Garnet  _ loved.  _ As much value as she had to the universe--as much as this hurt for the universe’s sake--she had infinitely more value to Garnet herself. And Garnet had failed her. She’d failed someone she loved, with all her heart.

Garnet hurriedly slipped a hand under her visor to wipe away a tear before it could form.

With all her heart. It was a human concept, and a funny one at that. But somehow, paradoxically, it fit. She loved Pearl with all her heart, too. She’d loved Rose with all her heart, and now Steven. Logically, one heart should only have room to give its whole self to one being--that’s how it was for Ruby and Sapphire, each loving only the other with all she had.

But as Garnet, her heart was so much bigger and broader and readier to love, and only seemed to be growing. 

And of course, with that, it became so much easier to be damaged.

She’d screwed up today. She let her emotions get out of hand, and she almost fell apart. She’d always been able to hold it together before--something was wrong this time, something was different. 

Maybe it was because the last time she fused with Amethyst was before Rose left them behind. Maybe Garnet still had thorns of grief stuck deeper under her skin than she’d thought.

Amethyst was such a strong feeler herself--she wore her gem on her heart, and let it pull forward everything she did. Maybe she was just rubbing off on Garnet, drawing out her deep-seated grief and frustration and memory and fear.

But maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing all of the time. She drew out her love, too.

Garnet lowered her gem back down to Amethyst’s and gently whispered her name.

“Can’t talk. Sound asleep,” Amethyst said without moving.

She slid her hand down a little, tracing the edge of Amethyst’s gem with her fingertips. “I really, truly do love you. Sugilite can’t see or do anything to change that.”

Her fingers moved from the edge to the facets. Amethyst shivered the slightest bit, but didn’t break slumbering character. Garnet smiled and brushed Amethyst’s pale hair aside with her free hand, exposing her cheek and closed eye.

“And neither can Blue Diamond.”

She leaned down to kiss Amethyst’s cheek. At nearly the last moment, though, Amethyst turned her face and tilted her neck and caught Garnet's lips with her own.

Ha. Four thousand years and the power to see the future, and Amethyst still never ceased to find ways to surprise her.

Amethyst broke away and smirked. “Love you too, G.”

Garnet smiled and softly took Amethyst’s jaw in her hand, drawing her face up to kiss her again. 

Outside, the deep blue sky ever-so-slightly took on a blush of a purple dawn.


End file.
